Yesterday afternoon, I saw a post on Gizmodo that I felt I just needed to share… as if something inside me was “forcing” me to… (zing!). I think most Star Wars fans have been hoping for something of this sort since a long, long time ago (double-zing!). Aside from bastardizing the original Star Wars saga in more ways than can be counted, we also have the newest Indiana Jones to deal with. Jesus Christ, George. Jesus Christ. Shia Labeouf with swinging monkeys?? I think the only things keeping me from hunting you down personally are “The Last Crusade” and “Willow”. You may be a son of a bitch, but you know the way straight to my heart: Sean Connery and midgets.

I personally can’t wait for the Blu-ray 3D Special Edition / Original Sexilogy Boxset with 350 extra hours of “goddamn-I-love-Star-Wars-so-much-I-just-shot-an-intergallactic-twelve-roper-on-the-TV-screen” bonus features! Though if it doesn’t come in a 1:4 scale fully-functional deathstar collectors case, you can count me out…

Google Analytics is one of the best tools to see how visitors make their way to your website, where they go once they’re there, and how long they stay. I’ve been a huge fan of this free Google service for years now, and I of course have it running on this website.

While looking through my Analytics stats for the past month and a half, I noticed a very odd source of traffic. Well, not so much the source itself, but rather the means to which people would find their way to Heavy Metal Geek via that source. Since the beginning of the year, my top keyword by far for search engine traffic has been “Angel Queef“. That’s right… fucking “Angel Queef”…

This term originates from a single tag on the post I made on December 29th of this past year which featured an extensive, well thought-out, and very detailed metal flowchart. One of the band names featured under the Religion / Angels category was Angel Queef… which after noticing, confused the hell out of me. Who in the blue fuck is Angel Queef?

Directed by: Marcus Nispel
Starring: Jared Padalecki, Danielle Panabaker, Amanda Righetti, Derek Mears
Released: February 13, 2009

I may not be as huge a Friday the 13th fan as some people I know (yeah I’m looking at you Gerry), but I sure as hell know a good teen slasher film when I see it. With the number of horror remakes hitting the big screen these last few years that have come as a disappointment to the majority of fans of the originals, I’m glad to say that this reimagined adaptation of the classic “Friday the 13th” series is just about everything you’d want in a return weekend excursion to the iconic Crystal Lake.

If, though headbanging and asskicking as anyone, you’re as big a geek as I am, I think you may enjoy the unique nerdcore stylings of a certain PBR-swilling, shaggy-haired Southern friend of mine by the name of BSDPunk… or by the name you will soon know him by…

MC GOBLIN MAJICK!

He has a few select tracks up on his official website to check out, so feel free to make your way over and take a listen to some completely nerdy tunes. And for the more technical bunch that so happens to stumble their way to my website, check out www.bsdpunk.com for a shitload of technological nonsense that means dick to me but you may enjoy. I hear it’s cool shit but my brain turns inside-out when it tries to interpret what my eyeballs is seein’.

MC Goblin Majick: Official Website

Eluveitie – “The Somber Lay”
From the album: Slania

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Why this song doesn’t suck:
One of my favorite bands of late has been folk metal asskickers extraordinaire, Eluveitie. As I’ve said before, any band that can seamlessly meld electric guitar with a goddamn slew of flutes, whistles, fiddles and bagpipes deserves and rightly gets my full admiration. You’d think it’d be hard to make a songs as heavy as “The Somber Lay” work with a whistle into, but Eluveitie pull it off quite nicely… and it’s something I’m glad to say they are able to reproduce perfectly live in concert.

Toothpastefordinner.com is one of my must-see sites during my ritualistic morning browsing session. A couple weeks back I saw the comic below, and I have to say it’s pretty much spot-on:

It did, however, forget the other vital bits of information… it needs to be done by tomorrow and for $200. Not like there’s anything to it or anything, right?