Threshold – “This Is Your Life”
From the album: Dead Reckoning

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Why this song doesn’t suck:
I’m slightly ashamed to say that I wasn’t familiar with UK progressive metallers Threshold much earlier. They’ve been around since the early 90’s and have flown completely below my radar until recent months when they made the usual metal news rounds for releasing a cover of the Muse tune, “Supermassive Black Hole”. Yes, it’s an odd choice for a cover, but it turned out to be an interesting take on the song nonetheless. Even if there were those who weren’t big on the cover, and I know there were many, the fact that a larger audience was even slightly familiarized with Threshold is a big win for them. Because frankly, these guys can write some fucking catchy, hard rockin’ tunes.

Ah, Eluveitie… my favorite fiddling, fluting, hurdy gurdying heavy metal motherfuckers around. Hot off the heels of 2009’s acoustic album “Invocation I: The Arcane Dominion”, Eluveitie is ready to drop another hot discload of folksy metal on our eager and wanting faces. The band’s 5th album, “Everything Remains (As It Never Was)” will be released February 15th, 2010 via Nuclear Blast Records, and included on that album will be a little rocker called “Thousandfold”. And wudyaknow… they have a music video for it!! And it’s here on this page!!! So fucking watch it already!!!!

That’s it. I quit life.

I know I’m alienating roughly 95% of the females on the planet and destroying any chance of me getting laid in the near future by saying this, but I saw ‘Twilight‘ this weekend and HOLY SHIT… that movie blows. And I don’t mean blows in the way all of Will Farrell’s movies consistently make me wish bodily harm on him, or even in the way any movie starring Eddie Murphy is apt to make you want to punch yourself in the face for seeing it. When I say Twilight blows, I’m referring to the way it sucked the very essence of my being through my eyeballs. I wanted to die. I wanted to smash my head through the television screen to end the pain. The sweet relief of death would be welcome after sitting through two endless hours of these uninteresting goons staring at each other, biting their lips and playing baseball. This is some seriously trite shit and it makes me sad. So sad. It’s time… launch the nukes. We humans had our chance and we wasted it away. Just end it…

I’d just like to give a big “Happy Fucking Halloween” shoutout to every unlucky soul that happens to blindly stumble onto my website! In honor of our yearly celebration of death, horror and all that is ghoulish, take 10 minutes out of your day of debauchery to watch every murder committed by that wily rascal Michael Myers. After you’re done with that, slide into your skanky costumes, drink ’til you can’t feel feelings anymore and O.D. on candy corn! Oh, such glorious times!

Fledgling guitar virtuoso Antoine Dufour and his pal, fiddler extraordinaire Tommy Gauthier, may have become webfamous from their amusing (and pretty freaking impressive) “Four Hands Guitar” YouTube video, but these guys are certainly no joke when it comes to jamming on their own tunes. Best showcasing both of these artists’ immense talents is a track from Antoine’s 2006 album, ‘Development’ entitled “Spiritual Groove”. Sure, this may not be metal, but I’ll be goddamned if it isn’t fucking awesome.

To see the 2 man 1 guitar rendition of Jerry Reed’s “Jerry’s Breakdown” that brought these guys into the netnerd spotlight back in 2007 (and which has since reached nearly 9 million views), continue on with the post…