Late Friday night while on our return trip from a Detroit Tigers game, my sister, G3 and I hit up Denny’s. Nothing new there… it’s become customary to stop at the Belleville Denny’s while on a late night ride home from the D. This visit was different however. For this time, my face was rocked the fuck off by a meal created by most extreme… most hardcore… most incredibly talented musicians of our time: Hoobastank! That’s right, I had the honor of feasting on the mighty HOOBURRITO! Yes, Hoobastank has their own burrito meal at Denny’s. They’ve finally hit the bigtime. How exciting.

Alright, since sarcasm isn’t an easy thing to pick up when reading, I’ll stop with the bullshit now: this thing fucking sucked. While reading the description, I was intrigued to try this condensed and tightly wrapped blend of chicken, fried onions and bbq sauce. The experience of eating this overcooked greasepile however, was far from enjoyable. Every element of this meal made me feel like I needed to take a shower… I could feel my pores filling up and arteries clogging with every wet, burnt bite from the deep fried innards of the semi-transparent soft shell.

Served with tortilla chips! Get your’s today!

What incredibly huge fucking tools.