Avantasia – “Avantasia”
From the album: Avantasia: The Metal Opera – Part I

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Why this song doesn’t suck:
Sure, power metal has a tendency to be over the top and corny at times, but if done right it can be some of the most (for lack of a better word) powerful music ever perceived by human earholes. In 1999, Edguy frontman, Tobias Sammet, began writing the songs for what would become his Avantasia side project’s first release, 2000′s aptly titled The Metal Opera. This album contained some of the best power metal to be released in recent memory, my favorite of which happens to be the band’s self-titled track, “Avantasia”. This is power metal done right.

Television programs have come a far, far way over the last several years. Premium channels like HBO and Showtime have paved the way for some of the finest, most original, and most entertaining television to ever grace a cathode ray tube or LCD pixel. Dexter, Six Feet Under, Oz, Carnivale, Californication, The Sopranos… my god, the list goes on for miles. Even stations like ABC, NBC and CBS have jumped on board and offered some amazing programming as of late. Though we still have to deal with a gag-inducing overabundance of so-called “reality” television, for every “Bachelorette” and “American Idol” there is a “Lost”, “Life on Mars” or “Fringe” balancing out the spectrum.

However, for those like myself that are looking to get rid of their heinously enormous cable television bills, we must find ways to enjoy this content without breaking the bank and not limiting ourselves to watching everything on Hulu. One of the most obvious ways to do so is by using a neat-o little thing called Bit Torrent. But when you’re as freaking lazy as I am, how the hell do you keep track of what shows are on when, which is the newest episode and which sites offer the best seeded files? Jesus, I can’t be sitting around doing searches all day! How do you get this done without it cutting into my beloved pr0n watching time?

The Torrent Episode Downloader (ted), that’s how. The concept is simple… and the overall execution is simply awesome. A single program that keeps track of the shows you want to download on a regular basis, and does the tedious torrent searching so you don’t have to.

In honor of  the final episode of Late Night with Conan O’Brien last night, I thought I’d post one of the greatest comedy clips ever to grace a television screen. Since as long as I can remember, my very favorite Conan moment has been the now-classic 1864 Old Time Baseball segment. From Conan’s awkward interactions with the way-too-into-her-part maiden, Nell, to Conan sporting a truly manly ‘stache / chops combo, this clip perfectly sums up exactly what I love about this show.

“Thanks for the cool breeze! It was most cooling on my mustache!” I was excited as hell to see Conan announce this as his personal favorite segment and give it some airtime on his final episode last night. I’m also excited as hell to see what he’ll bring to the Tonight Show starting June 1st. Until then, I’ll have to get my daily dose of vomiting puppets and self-pleasuring bears on the interwebz.

Nightwish – “10th Man Down”
From the album: Over the Hills and Far Away (ep)

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Why this song doesn’t suck:
I’ve been a big fan of Nightwish for several years now. My first real dose of these symphonic power metal dealing Finns came from the “Wish I Had an Angel” single from their 2004 album Once. Ever since my ears were treated to a heaping dose of orchestra-infused, guitar-heavy metal excellence matched with Tarja Turunen’s angelic, operatic vocals, I’ve been addicted. I often find myself fiending for my Nightwish fix, and few tracks feed my hunger better than “10th Man Down” from the Over the Hills and Far Away ep.

On the newest episode of KATGtv, Keith Malley of Keith and the Girl podcast fame, shows us all the dos and don’ts of taking care of a newborn baby. According to episode 866 of Keith and the Girl, entitled “Watch Your Kids”, the idea stemmed from an educational video shown to new parents at hospitals. This video warning these poor, brainless parents of the dangers (and all-around idiocy) of shaking a newborn. Keith felt this video could use a few more precautions for the stupid, stupid people that are somehow allowed to continue to breed. Click the play button below to get your education for the day:

I’m saddened to learn it’s not proper to shoot babies with crossbows. If only I’d known sooner…
If you haven’t already, get your ass to the official KATG website or iTunes and subscribe to the Keith and the Girl podcast. It’ll be the best free you’ve ever spent.

Keith and the Girl: Official Website

KMFDM – “Looking for Strange”
From the album: Tohuvabohu

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Why this song doesn’t suck:
I’ll be the first to admit that “Looking for Strange” from Germany’s industrial rock veterans KMFDM is neither the band’s heaviest, most complex or hell, best song… but I’ll be goddamned if it isn’t just about the catchiest tune that’s ever graced my much-abused eardrums. I’ve listened to it more times than I can recall, and without fail I enjoy it every time. One advantage to KMFDM is you’re never quite sure what you’ll be hearing from song to song… they’re known to mix numerous genres in their work, and while it always bears some industrial leanings, it certainly keeps things interesting.