Google Analytics is one of the best tools to see how visitors make their way to your website, where they go once they’re there, and how long they stay. I’ve been a huge fan of this free Google service for years now, and I of course have it running on this website.

While looking through my Analytics stats for the past month and a half, I noticed a very odd source of traffic. Well, not so much the source itself, but rather the means to which people would find their way to Heavy Metal Geek via that source. Since the beginning of the year, my top keyword by far for search engine traffic has been “Angel Queef“. That’s right… fucking “Angel Queef”…

This term originates from a single tag on the post I made on December 29th of this past year which featured an extensive, well thought-out, and very detailed metal flowchart. One of the band names featured under the Religion / Angels category was Angel Queef… which after noticing, confused the hell out of me. Who in the blue fuck is Angel Queef?

You have the weekend free you say? No one returning your phone calls? Well, here’s an idea: sit down and create a huge flowchart showcasing some of the most (and least) well-known names in heavy metal history. Need to come up with a moniker for your older brother’s new garage band under threat of a “wicked bad beatdown”? Well, hopefully this will help out a bit. Click the image for a much… MUCH… embiggened version.

Compliments to metalsucks.com for swiping it from comicvsaudience.net. Good show, sir.