I’ve come to the realization that I am not opposed to dancing. I have no problem with it. Hell, get enough beers in me, and I’ll cut a freakin’ rug.

What I am opposed to is the horrible music that is played at every dance club. I **HATE** that shit. So very…very…very much. It irks me to the very core of my being and makes me want to kill. If you ever want to see me in a horrible mood, blast some uninspired, talentless hip hop bullshit in my general direction. Please, pick up an instrument and create something unique and engaging that doesn’t use stolen samples or fucking clicks and pops. Fucking seriously. My god.

Why, oh why, do people who live in apartment buildings (aside from me of course) have this uncontrollable urge to slam doors, yell in hallways and just overall make way too much goddamn noise at way too goddamn late of an hour. I’m pretty sure the guy who lives above me wears massive Birkenstocks every day while stomping around his place all night like fucking Godzilla. Get some slippers, man. I don’t want to hear you marching around up there while I lie awake in bed pretending to shoot eye lasers through your floor and up your spine (which would be amazing to see… a man getting his spine melted via perfectly aligned high-powered mind laser. Hollywood, get on that. But if I see it in Saw V, I want some royalty money… I only give my ideas away for free for movies that don’t completely fucking suck).

Sorry I sound so angry, but it’s time for sleep. So shut the hell up.

Wait… Seriously? This is seriously the best you could do? My god, this is an amazing ad. I’m glad to see they have someone on staff that can use Microsoft Paint to update some douchebag model headshot.

Just for this, I’m going to stop trimming my nose hair out of spite. It’ll blend into my beard hair, so no big deal. Yeah, suck it Norelco.