Written and directed by both Zach Cregger & Trevor Moore of “The Whitest Kids You Know” fame, ‘Miss March‘ looks to be a genuinely hilarious sex-centric comedy. With “The Office”’s Craig Robinson on board as a rapper named Horsedick Dot Mpeg and what will surely be gratuitous amounts of nudity and lesbian sex, the is almost guaranteed to be the Best Picture winner for 2010. That’s right Academy… start polishing up those Oscars! I nominate Trevor as Best Actor for his reaction to the unfortunate tour bus incident.

Goddamn, I can’t wait to see this when it hits the big screen March 13th. Enjoy much swearings, cunnilingual lockpicking and drunk dudes in banana-viking helms in the R-rated redband trailer below:

More Movie Info: IMDB.com

After the enormous disappointment that was Jonathan Mostow’s Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, I was extremely reluctant to put my trust in anyone other than James Cameron to create a new Terminator installment. Growing up in the 80’s and early 90’s, the original Terminator and T2: Judgement Day were two of the foremost action films of my childhood. James Cameron’s visionary direction and Arnold Schwarzenegger’s pure hulked-up badassedness made for some amazing, iconic and ultimately legendary cinema. I’ve been craving another good… actually good… look into the world of Skynet, John Conner and Judgement Day for years now. I’m hoping McG, of all people, may be able to satisfy my hunger.

I’m happy to say that after seeing the full official trailer for the upcoming Terminator: Salvation, I think this just may be the film we fans have been waiting for… it’s dirty, gritty, and seems to have the same overall tone as T2. It may be Arnie-free, but I think we have a suitable replacement lead with Christian Bale as the grizzled and worn John Conner. I can honestly say I would prefer to put this trailer on repeat for 2 hours than watch Terminator 3… here are a few reason why:

As some of you may remember, I’ve been compulsively saving the movie tickets from every flick I hit up in the theater for the last, oh, 11 years or so. A while back, I decided to take all of these tickets out of their dank, carboard prison and add them to a shiny new Excel spreadsheet (and no, I didn’t get rid of the physical tickets after that… they’re still safe and sound in my desk drawer). Check here for the original post.

I took some time this weekend to do a quick update to the list with the latest batch of tickets I’ve collected since the end of the busy Summer movie season. And this year’s by far the winner! With a few movie-going weeks left in 2008, here’re the results so far:

Number of Movies Seen: 47
Total Spent on Movies: $376.25
Total Amount of Time: 86 Hours 12 Minutes

Now, though I do count movies I see more than once into these totals, I think this has been the most successful movie-going year of my life. And just for the hell of it, I’ve posted the complete list of the movies I’ve seen this year directly from my spreadsheet, complete with date, time, cost, and runtime… kind of puts things in perspective when you have to actually scroll through the numerous flicks I’ve spent my weekends basking in the glow of. Oh, and feel free to make fun of me for seeing some of these numerous times… it was totally worth every penny.

Now, onto breaking the 50 mark!

For an abundance of mockery material, read on…

Never in my most wonderful of dreams did I imagine a movie would be able to top the excessive violence and utterly laughable amount of gore contained within ‘The Machine Girl‘. Well, it appears we have a new heir to the throne of the supreme Japanese goreflick… and judging from the trailer, I don’t think any Machine Girl fan will be disappointed in the least. This movie is called ‘Tokyo Gore Police‘, and it will kick your fucking teeth in right before cutting your face clean off with it’s superfluous uncensored awesomeness.

Set in futuristic Tokyo, the film’s story follows Ruka, a sword-wielding police officer, as she battles hideous mutants known as “Engineers” who are able to transform their bodies into virulent weapons. Oh, hell yes. From the looks of the trailer, we’ll be treated to a number of these freakish “Engineers”, from a revolting snailgirl to a blade-limbed breakdancer and a chick with a T-Rex vagina. Come on… what else could you ask for in a movie aside from a chick with a monstrous, carnivorous head for a lower body? Oh, 10,000 gallons of fake blood, you say? Well, holy hell, you’re in luck! It doesn’t look like that will pose much of a problem as the trailer alone is bloodier than most full-length films.

‘Tokyo Gore Police‘ has been shown at a number of conventions over the past few months resulting in quite a few glowing reviews, and it will be hitting U.S. DVD shelves this October thanks to Media Blaster/Tokyo Shock, the same folks who brought us Machine Girl. Who’s up for a movie night this Halloween?

Check out the trailer below:

More info: ‘Tokyo Gore Police’ @ IMDB.com

RECAP: I’ve been collection all of the movie tickets for every movie I’ve seen in the theater for the last 11 years. A few weeks ago, I decided to take all of the information on these tickets and create a spreadsheet to find out exactly how much money and time I’ve spent on going to the theater. For a full description of what this madness is all about, check out this previous post.

Well, the results are in! I’ve successfully tabulated all of the movie tickets in my collection, the first of which dated all the way back to April 11, 1997. It was long, monotonous, boring work, but damn it, it was something that needed to be done. I’m sure I missed a few tickets here and there throughout the years, but this certainly paints a pretty clear picture of my theater-attending habits. Here are some of the results:

Number of Movies Seen: 258
Total Spent on Movies: $1,602.25
Total Amount of Time: 498 Hours 39 Minutes

Okay, now let’s break this down. 258 movies means I’ve essentially seen a movie every other week for more than the last decade and during that time I’ve spent nearly 500 hours watching them. Dizamn. That’s nearly 21 straight days spent in a theater seat being bathed and in the majestic glow of a movie screen… which is roughly 2 straight days a year. Mind you, this doesn’t include any time watching previews, though more often than not, that can be offset by the fact that I didn’t sit through the full credits on most of the flicks on the list. Then we have the fact that the $1,600 figure doesn’t include the thousands I’ve spent on concessions while seeing these movies… as any proper film-fanatic would agree, popcorn is absolutely required to properly view a movie in the theater.

Here are some more interesting facts I established while making my list:

Directed by: Zack Snyder
Starring: Billy Crudup, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Malin Akerman, Jackie Earle Haley
Release Date: March 6, 2009

First seeing the trailer for the upcoming “Watchmen” adaptation on IMAX was nearly the most awe-inspiring moment I’ve ever experienced in the theater (aside from the two and half hours of brilliance proceeding it that was Dark Knight of course). I could feel the hairs on my arm raise as we got a glimpse of Dr. Osterman being vaporized and I could barely keep my mouth from hanging agape as scene after scene of epic asskickage was endlessly thrown at my eyeballs. A remixed version of The Smashing Pumpkins’ “The End is the Beginning is the End” gives this trailer the absolute perfect tone… and interestingly enough, though not very surprising, the sale of that song has boomed quite a bit on iTunes since the trailer’s debut on Friday. Hopefully future generations will remember that particular tune from this movie instead of the flick it was originally recorded for: “Batman & Robin”… because I have to say, if this trailer is any indication, we’re in for a hell of a good time when this movie drops next March.