New episodes of the new Music That Doesn’t Suck series will be posted every Tuesday from now until I run out of tunes that don’t suck, which I’ve projected to be about 3 weeks after our sun collapses in on itself thus becoming a blackhole, sucking all matter within our universe into nothingness. At which point, I think people will care even less than they do now about stupid shit I post on the Internet. That is all. You may now return to not reading my website.

As I now know that everyone visiting this site isn’t aware, and just in case any of you zany peeps are wondering, if you’d like to put cool little pic next to your comments here on Heavy Metal Geek, it’s easy. Not long ago, I updated the site to use the simple and convenient, widely recognized avatar solution that is known as… GRAVATAR!

Though this sounds like the name of some long-defeated Decepticon, I assure you fine people (and Autobots) that it’s something far less diabolical. Simply visit www.gravatar.com, sign up for an account, upload the photo you’d like to use, and you’re all set. Your newly-created avatar will now show up here on HMG along with a plethera of other website and blogs. Well, as long as you put the electronic mailing address you used to sign up to gravatar.com in the e-mail field when adding your comment. That’s it. Easy. So do it.

After much thought and several months of (slowly) working behind the scenes to get the new Heavy Metal Geek website launched, I came to a rather obvious and much-delayed realization. I found I wasn’t as inspired to create a new website as I felt I should be. Hell, I had a perfectly good website being all but completely neglected by your’s truly just sitting in the tubes collecting dust. What I realized was I just love this Bloodtrocuted website too damn much to dump it in favor of a new one with a, shall I say, “zazzier” name.

So! Here we are! I’ve decided instead to simply update the name of this website to something that better reflects what I feel it should be about: unadulterated geekdome with a healthy side of heavy fucking metal. Plus it will be nice to give someone this URL in person and not have to repeat it half a dozen times before they undertsand what the hell I’m talking about.

I will slowly be adding content that was planned out for the now-defunct HMG site in the coming weeks, so be expecting some new content along with some much needed design and layout updates soon (yeah, I know… you’ve heard that before, right?).

Keep on truckin’ metalheads. Peace.

Yeah yeah yeah… I still suck. Work’s been uber busy the last couple months and my home PC has been on the fritz. Additionally, I’m trying to get things figured out for Heavy Metal Geek and that has been taking much longer than intended. While things have slowed down considerably for this site the last while, the site is certainly not dead. I promise.

Halloween is creeping up on us fast, and personally, I can’t wait for that special day to rear it’s beautifully disfigured and mutated head. Now that I’ve been able to break out some of my warmer clothing and bedsheets, I got to thinking about all of things I love most about Halloween and Autumn in general. Here’s what I came up with:

The Beginning of Fall
It’s fairly simple – Fall kicks ass. While I’m not saying the bright sunny days of Summer aren’t excellent around, say, the fourth of July or so, once October hits I really look forward to being able to turn off the A/C and slip on a thick, cozy hoodie. Once the hoodie comes out of sabbatical, I look forward to trekking around town, enjoying the kelidiscopic colors of the leaves on the trees; feeling a crisp breeze on my face and enjoying a nice hot cider from the nearest coffee joint. Let’s face it… apple cider is just plain badass. No amount of sunlight can ever change that. To be honest, I’ve never been a fan of hot weather. Keep your 90% humidity, Summer… I don’t need it. I’ll take a pair of jeans and a sweater, thank you very much.

My Birthday
Though I’m sure this will have much less appeal in my later years, I still find it nice to know that when Halloween rolls around it means I’m only 5 days away from another birthday. Having a birthday so soon after the most morbidly awesome holiday on the calendar gave me many chances to have some very macabre birthday celebrations over the years. I look fondly back at quite a few birthdays from my childhood… birthdays that included an overload of sugar intake and an abundance of fake blood. Even today, I find myself looking forward to my birthday, even if these days it’s not much more than an excuse to drink too much and act foolishly in public. But c’mon… what better way to celebrate the day of your birth can there be?

Horror Movies
If there’s a type of movie I love more than porn, it’s horror.* Well, good horror that is… not any of this recycled Japanese garbage or gore-porn** that the studios seem to never get enough of these days. I’m talking about good horror movies. Movies with some creativity, heart, and inovation. Movies like ‘Nightmare on Elm Street’, ‘Friday the 13th’, ‘Halloween’, ‘The Exorcist’, ‘Creepshow’, ‘Candyman’, ‘Pet Sematary’, ‘Poltergeist’, ‘Hellraiser’, ‘The Amityville Horror’, ‘In the Mouth of Madness’ and dozens more like them… the movies that, for the most part, were pretty damn successful in creeping the hell out of me as a kid. Today’s horror movies simply don’t scare me. You can’t put a CGI ghost on a screen and expect me to feel frightened. Over-the-top “bordering-on-hilarity” horror movies like ‘Evil Dead 2′, ‘Machine Girl’ and ‘Dead Alive’ would be much more preferred than the tripe theaters put out now… and I can barely consider them horror. Either way, no other time of year do you see such an abundance of horror movies on TV and small local theaters. Be sure to take advantage of it while you can.

Halloween Parties
It’s a pretty basic equation, really… costumes + morbid decorations + snack food + an abundance of alcohol = potentially the greatest party you’ll ever experience. Halloween parties are the best. They all inherently have the potential of being the most insane night of your life. You’d like die being able to say you’ve seen Abraham Lincoln pull a wicked-awesome kegstand, you say? You’ve never felt the joy of seeing a 17th-century samurai battle slutty nun in a game of ping pong? What would Chewbacca look like if he projectile vomited orange cupcakes onto Wolverine and a hobo while playing Mario Party, you ask? Well, dammit! You’re in luck tonight! Never before have your chances of witnessing these demented occurrences been better than tonight! I personally have been to a great number of Halloween parties. Some amazing, some shitty (some of the latter which I’ve myself thrown I’m sorry to say). if done right, these can be nights to remember… or depending on your tolerance to sweetly flavored shots and beer bongs, not remember at all. The best part about these shindigs is that they aren’t only reliant on the people that come, but also the amount of creativity the host and everyone there brings with them as well! So get out the makeup, start slicing up those cardboard boxes (yeah, I’m talking to you Bryan), slip on that latex mask, grab a sixer or four and have some fun this Halloween people!

* Just kidding. Nothing is better than porn.
** Troma and Tokyo Shock are exempt – their movies kick fucking ass.

I’ve been to a ton of metal concerts over the years… from giant stadium shows like Ozzfest and Metal Masters to concerts in small clubs and bars (which I actually prefer for the most part). In the course of my headbanging experiences, I’ve noticed a trend in who frequents a good number of these shows. Sure, the majority of people I see are your standard metalheads… black t-shirts, leather, tattoos, piercings and all… but then there are those exceptional people who seem to define the entire concert-going experience with their simple presence. Join me as I list out the top 7 of these people. Why 7, you ask? Because the number 10 is overrated. Plus it’s my website and I can do whatever I damn well please. Now, enjoy… and be sure to tell me in the comments if you’ve ever encountered any of these interesting and infuriating folks. If you have any additions for other concert regulars, be sure to let me know in the comments as well.

The “enjoy the taste of my hair” guy
I’ve lost count of the times I’ve been stuck behind some guy with hair down to his lower back and the insatiable need to headbang nonstop. But not just headbang, oh no… a compete upper body bang that results in a rainbow arch of wet golden locks on a direct collision course with your face. I usually find myself thinking, “thanks man, I really wanted to know how to felt to be lashed in the eyes by a weedwacker made of hair.” Usually getting lodged behind this guy isn’t an enjoyable experience as it’s commonly accompanied with the overpowering smell of damp scalp and B.O. Other times, however, he can offer a cool breeze and the faint, pleasant smell of shampoo (depending on if he’d showered that day of course). It really is a toss-up, though the bad greatly outweighs the good qualities of standing behind this person.

The wasted “coming through” guy
Thanks, drunk guy… how did you know I was thinking I’d rather absorb this beer through the front of my shirt than through my mouth as I normally do. Drinking beer? Booooooring! I get so much more pleasure stinking of it as it soaks into my clothing. I’m also quite pleased you were able to see with your half-opened eyes that there was in fact a 2 inch gap between the person next to me and myself. Hell, that’s certainly more than enough room for you to charge through without so much as saying a word.