My goal for Heavy Metal Geek is and always has been to make a site that not only pleases myself to write, but pleases others to read as well. I enjoy writing about a number of topics, though as you can probably tell if you’ve looked through the 100 or so posts that currently makes up this site, I usually stick pretty close to 3 things: Music, Movies and all that is geek. For the hell of it, I’d like to take a quick minute here and ask you, the poor fuck who’s somehow stumbled onto my website, what you’d like to see here on HMG.

More movie reviews? More site features? More Music That Doesn’t Suck?! Leave a comment by clicking the link below and let me know. Or don’t. You fuck.

Note: Just FYI, since I’ve had inquiries, I do have a Watchmen review incoming, as well as a few other choice selections.

From the CollegeHumor.com veterans, Derrick Comedy, comes a feature film of incredible proportions! Three childhood friends, each possessing their own unique abilities, battle teachers, drug dealers, store clerks and small children in an epic quest to solve a double homicide! They are… THE MYSTERY TEAM! Vomiting into headwear! Intercourse with baked goods! Tri-fucking! Yes, this is sure to be a film to remember!

This flick premiered at Sundance this past January and received an enormous amount of praise and support from numerous magazines and websites, including Entertainment Weekly, CHUD.com, Slashfilm.com and Cinematical.com. No news yet on if and when this will be hitting DVD, but it looks like the movie is making the rounds with some small private screenings… one of which is today in New York City. Be sure to check into the film’s official website for more info, and of course go to DerrickComedy.com for some good laughs.

Make the jump to check out the Mystery Team trailer…

Television programs have come a far, far way over the last several years. Premium channels like HBO and Showtime have paved the way for some of the finest, most original, and most entertaining television to ever grace a cathode ray tube or LCD pixel. Dexter, Six Feet Under, Oz, Carnivale, Californication, The Sopranos… my god, the list goes on for miles. Even stations like ABC, NBC and CBS have jumped on board and offered some amazing programming as of late. Though we still have to deal with a gag-inducing overabundance of so-called “reality” television, for every “Bachelorette” and “American Idol” there is a “Lost”, “Life on Mars” or “Fringe” balancing out the spectrum.

However, for those like myself that are looking to get rid of their heinously enormous cable television bills, we must find ways to enjoy this content without breaking the bank and not limiting ourselves to watching everything on Hulu. One of the most obvious ways to do so is by using a neat-o little thing called Bit Torrent. But when you’re as freaking lazy as I am, how the hell do you keep track of what shows are on when, which is the newest episode and which sites offer the best seeded files? Jesus, I can’t be sitting around doing searches all day! How do you get this done without it cutting into my beloved pr0n watching time?

The Torrent Episode Downloader (ted), that’s how. The concept is simple… and the overall execution is simply awesome. A single program that keeps track of the shows you want to download on a regular basis, and does the tedious torrent searching so you don’t have to.

In honor of  the final episode of Late Night with Conan O’Brien last night, I thought I’d post one of the greatest comedy clips ever to grace a television screen. Since as long as I can remember, my very favorite Conan moment has been the now-classic 1864 Old Time Baseball segment. From Conan’s awkward interactions with the way-too-into-her-part maiden, Nell, to Conan sporting a truly manly ‘stache / chops combo, this clip perfectly sums up exactly what I love about this show.

“Thanks for the cool breeze! It was most cooling on my mustache!” I was excited as hell to see Conan announce this as his personal favorite segment and give it some airtime on his final episode last night. I’m also excited as hell to see what he’ll bring to the Tonight Show starting June 1st. Until then, I’ll have to get my daily dose of vomiting puppets and self-pleasuring bears on the interwebz.

Google Analytics is one of the best tools to see how visitors make their way to your website, where they go once they’re there, and how long they stay. I’ve been a huge fan of this free Google service for years now, and I of course have it running on this website.

While looking through my Analytics stats for the past month and a half, I noticed a very odd source of traffic. Well, not so much the source itself, but rather the means to which people would find their way to Heavy Metal Geek via that source. Since the beginning of the year, my top keyword by far for search engine traffic has been “Angel Queef“. That’s right… fucking “Angel Queef”…

This term originates from a single tag on the post I made on December 29th of this past year which featured an extensive, well thought-out, and very detailed metal flowchart. One of the band names featured under the Religion / Angels category was Angel Queef… which after noticing, confused the hell out of me. Who in the blue fuck is Angel Queef?

If, though headbanging and asskicking as anyone, you’re as big a geek as I am, I think you may enjoy the unique nerdcore stylings of a certain PBR-swilling, shaggy-haired Southern friend of mine by the name of BSDPunk… or by the name you will soon know him by…

MC GOBLIN MAJICK!

He has a few select tracks up on his official website to check out, so feel free to make your way over and take a listen to some completely nerdy tunes. And for the more technical bunch that so happens to stumble their way to my website, check out www.bsdpunk.com for a shitload of technological nonsense that means dick to me but you may enjoy. I hear it’s cool shit but my brain turns inside-out when it tries to interpret what my eyeballs is seein’.

MC Goblin Majick: Official Website