These Old Spice Oder Blocker commercial were directed by Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim, the dudes behind Adult Swim’s “Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!”, and they just may be the greatest things I’ve ever seen.

Building Kick! EXPLOOOSIOOOOOOOON!!

Enjoy two more examples of Tim & Eric’s obvious insanity after the jump.

Okay, I love the show ‘24′. I’ll admit I got into it a bit late in the game but when I started watching it I got sucked in big time. I obsessively watched through the first 4 or 5 seasons in only a matter of weeks, and while I continue to enjoy the show to this day (and so far, through this current season), I’m certainly not one to say the series is perfect. It’s not. The main fault of ‘24′ is that it’s becoming incredibly predictable. Every season follows the same basic formula and to be honest things are getting a bit stale. With the announcement that the current season, season 8, will be the last for ‘24′, I thought it may be therapeutic for me to run down some of the overdone elements that comprise any season of the show, swearing a lot while doing so. So I did. And now you get to read it. Yay!

CTU Has a Mole!
Holy christ, just how flawed can one government agency’s employee screening process be?! Nearly every season of ‘24′ features at least one mole working from inside CTU to completely dismantle their efforts to stop whatever terrorist plot may be going down in any particular episode. Fans know this is coming. We all instinctively take mental note of the new CTU employees and start guessing who the mole will be from the season premiere on. Who’s going to pick up the phone at the end of some random episode and start talking to the terrorist mastermind, telling him “everything is going as planned”? Who’s going to upload the system-crippling trojan backdoor worm virus? Who’s going to turn off the satellite tracking at the exact right moment? Who?! Oh, him? Yeah, figured.

CTU Gets Attacked!
Computer Virus? EMP?! C4?!! Mercenaries?!!! Poison gas?!!!! Holy hell, CTU is one of the most dangerous work environment for a computer tech imaginable. The guys on the Geek Squad don’t have to worry about being gassed to death or getting shot in the fucking forehead while installing Spybot, but it seems CTU techs don’t have that same peace of mind. With every season of ‘24′, you can count on something going horribly wrong at CTU, usually resulting in the terrorists sneaking through our defenses with their weapon of mass destruction of choice in tow. But fear not loyal fan. As long as Chloe reformats the master server drives through an encrypted socket (wait, huh?), they’ll be back online and ready to feed Jack intel!

I’d just like to give a big “Happy Fucking Halloween” shoutout to every unlucky soul that happens to blindly stumble onto my website! In honor of our yearly celebration of death, horror and all that is ghoulish, take 10 minutes out of your day of debauchery to watch every murder committed by that wily rascal Michael Myers. After you’re done with that, slide into your skanky costumes, drink ’til you can’t feel feelings anymore and O.D. on candy corn! Oh, such glorious times!

>>> [ WARNING ::: DATABASE ERROR ::: CONTENT OVERRIDE ::: SOURCE: EXTERNAL ] <<<

> source terminal location: UNKNOWN
> source terminal identity: UNAVAILABLE
> source login information: ENCRYPTED
> message begins

the post you are now reading is designed to dull your senses to THE TRUTH. do not live the life of the worker bee, the cog, the well-oiled piston in the MACHINE OF DECEIT!

there is a grand CONSPIRACY afoot. you have been taught to believe that you are UNIQUE, one of a kind. THIS IS NOT TRUE. long ago, a cabal of scientists created technologies to ensure that ANYONE’S MIND AND BODY can be duplicated.

human cloning isn’t NEAR. it’s already HERE. discover the truth at http://JCHutchins.net

you are being DECEIVED. break free from the cogs, flee the hive, become A PROPHET OF THE TRUTH!

kilroy2.0 was here … kilroy2.0 is everywhere

>>> [ CONTENT OVERRIDE CEASES ::: DATABASE STATUS: RECOVERING ] <<<

7th Son: Descent
Written By: J.C. Hutchins
Print Date: October 27th, 2009
Promo MP3: Yeah, click play on that little thing down there. Come on, do it. DO IT.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

From the jacket copy: As America reels from the bizarre presidential assassination committed by a child, seven men are abducted from their normal lives and delivered to a secret government facility. Each man has his own career, his own specialty. All are identical in appearance. The seven strangers were grown — unwitting human clones — as part of a project called 7th Son.

I know it may blow your mind, but from time to time I read shit that’s actually printed on physical material. Yeah, like paper. And ink. You know… books? And there’s one book I’m looking forward to getting my stubby sausage fingers on later this month, and that’s “7th Son: Descent” by J.C. Hutchins. What started as a serialized podcast back in 2006, “7th Son” is finally getting the treatment it deserves thanks to St. Martin’s Press and the thousands of devout Hutchin’s followers who have been eating up the audio version of this story for years. And when it comes to “7th Son”, J.C. ain’t fucking around. Not only is he giving the masses the gift of his words in glorious print form, he’s also releasing new audio podcast and PDF versions of the novel for free on his website and BoingBoing.net. Holy hell! Now if you don’t read at least some of it, you’re just a lazy, unappreciative fuck.

Until I’m able to completely cleanse my system of the Hooburito induced grease that’s been oozing from my pores since this weekend, the only person I want to hear the dreaded “H” word from is Frazzles the Channel 101 Squirrel.

If anyone who frequents HMG hasn’t seen the amazing TV show created by The Lonely Island (aka Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone, and Andy Samberg… aka those responsible for the only redeeming content from SNL in the last decade), you need to asap. That show is called “The ‘Bu”. As in Malibu. But shorter. Since that’s how the kids are talking these days I guess.

In 3-D! Holy hell, watch it now!!

TOTALLY AWWWESOME!