One less year to 2012… yeah, party it up suckers! As the last HMG post of 2008, I’ll leave you all with this raucous version of the New Year’s classic “Auld Lang Syne” as performed by Girlschool. Enjoy!

Here we have a candid look into the every day goings-on of your average corpsepaint slathered metalhead, Todd. What better way to display your inner anguish while pinching a fresh loaf of split-bottom wheat than to smear monochromatic makeup all over the front of your greasy dome? I propose there is none!

For those wishing to outwardly represent your inner demons properly, please refer to this helpful article. Anything worth doing is worth doing right.

For those wishing to see more ha-has, visit superpoop.com or Drew’s other daily webcomics toothpastefordinner.com & marriedtothesea.com.

Porcupine Tree – “Blackest Eyes”
From the album: In Absentia

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Why this song doesn’t suck:
Porcupine Tree has been a non-metal favorite of mine for quite a long while now. While they often do get pretty heavy with their material, the majority of the time I would consider their work to be more along the lines of progressive heavy rock. Porcupine Tree mainman Steven Wilson certainly knows how to write some intricate, rocking tunes; of that I have no doubt. Many of their songs have a sprawling, airy, atmospheric quality… one of my favorite of which is “Anesthetize” from the band’s newest album Fear of a Blank Planet. If it wasn’t for the near 18 minute runtime of that specific tune, I would have posted it here.  However, I chose to post one of my favorite gems from the band’s 2002 album, In Absentia, entitled “Blackest Eyes”.

You have the weekend free you say? No one returning your phone calls? Well, here’s an idea: sit down and create a huge flowchart showcasing some of the most (and least) well-known names in heavy metal history. Need to come up with a moniker for your older brother’s new garage band under threat of a “wicked bad beatdown”? Well, hopefully this will help out a bit. Click the image for a much… MUCH… embiggened version.

Compliments to metalsucks.com for swiping it from comicvsaudience.net. Good show, sir.

Heavy Metal Santa and your very own Skizzbot wish you all a Heavy Fucking Metal Christmas!

I’ll be back to this whole website nonsense after the extended weekend with the family. The plan is to do all the things X-Mas is about… getting way drunk and jolly & eating to excess. Sounds like a damn good time to me.

Everyone keep those devilhorns held high… if you really must listen to Christmas music, make it Trans-Siberian Orchestra.

And yes, Heavy Metal Santa will be putting that pair of tits under my tree this year.

KMFDM – “Looking for Strange”
From the album: Tohuvabohu

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Why this song doesn’t suck:
I’ll be the first to admit that “Looking for Strange” from Germany’s industrial rock veterans KMFDM is neither the band’s heaviest, most complex or hell, best song… but I’ll be goddamned if it isn’t just about the catchiest tune that’s ever graced my much-abused eardrums. I’ve listened to it more times than I can recall, and without fail I enjoy it every time. One advantage to KMFDM is you’re never quite sure what you’ll be hearing from song to song… they’re known to mix numerous genres in their work, and while it always bears some industrial leanings, it certainly keeps things interesting.