Halloween is creeping up on us fast, and personally, I can’t wait for that special day to rear it’s beautifully disfigured and mutated head. Now that I’ve been able to break out some of my warmer clothing and bedsheets, I got to thinking about all of things I love most about Halloween and Autumn in general. Here’s what I came up with:
The Beginning of Fall
It’s fairly simple – Fall kicks ass. While I’m not saying the bright sunny days of Summer aren’t excellent around, say, the fourth of July or so, once October hits I really look forward to being able to turn off the A/C and slip on a thick, cozy hoodie. Once the hoodie comes out of sabbatical, I look forward to trekking around town, enjoying the kelidiscopic colors of the leaves on the trees; feeling a crisp breeze on my face and enjoying a nice hot cider from the nearest coffee joint. Let’s face it… apple cider is just plain badass. No amount of sunlight can ever change that. To be honest, I’ve never been a fan of hot weather. Keep your 90% humidity, Summer… I don’t need it. I’ll take a pair of jeans and a sweater, thank you very much.
My Birthday
Though I’m sure this will have much less appeal in my later years, I still find it nice to know that when Halloween rolls around it means I’m only 5 days away from another birthday. Having a birthday so soon after the most morbidly awesome holiday on the calendar gave me many chances to have some very macabre birthday celebrations over the years. I look fondly back at quite a few birthdays from my childhood… birthdays that included an overload of sugar intake and an abundance of fake blood. Even today, I find myself looking forward to my birthday, even if these days it’s not much more than an excuse to drink too much and act foolishly in public. But c’mon… what better way to celebrate the day of your birth can there be?
Horror Movies
If there’s a type of movie I love more than porn, it’s horror.* Well, good horror that is… not any of this recycled Japanese garbage or gore-porn** that the studios seem to never get enough of these days. I’m talking about good horror movies. Movies with some creativity, heart, and inovation. Movies like ‘Nightmare on Elm Street’, ‘Friday the 13th’, ‘Halloween’, ‘The Exorcist’, ‘Creepshow’, ‘Candyman’, ‘Pet Sematary’, ‘Poltergeist’, ‘Hellraiser’, ‘The Amityville Horror’, ‘In the Mouth of Madness’ and dozens more like them… the movies that, for the most part, were pretty damn successful in creeping the hell out of me as a kid. Today’s horror movies simply don’t scare me. You can’t put a CGI ghost on a screen and expect me to feel frightened. Over-the-top “bordering-on-hilarity” horror movies like ‘Evil Dead 2′, ‘Machine Girl’ and ‘Dead Alive’ would be much more preferred than the tripe theaters put out now… and I can barely consider them horror. Either way, no other time of year do you see such an abundance of horror movies on TV and small local theaters. Be sure to take advantage of it while you can.
Halloween Parties
It’s a pretty basic equation, really… costumes + morbid decorations + snack food + an abundance of alcohol = potentially the greatest party you’ll ever experience. Halloween parties are the best. They all inherently have the potential of being the most insane night of your life. You’d like die being able to say you’ve seen Abraham Lincoln pull a wicked-awesome kegstand, you say? You’ve never felt the joy of seeing a 17th-century samurai battle slutty nun in a game of ping pong? What would Chewbacca look like if he projectile vomited orange cupcakes onto Wolverine and a hobo while playing Mario Party, you ask? Well, dammit! You’re in luck tonight! Never before have your chances of witnessing these demented occurrences been better than tonight! I personally have been to a great number of Halloween parties. Some amazing, some shitty (some of the latter which I’ve myself thrown I’m sorry to say). if done right, these can be nights to remember… or depending on your tolerance to sweetly flavored shots and beer bongs, not remember at all. The best part about these shindigs is that they aren’t only reliant on the people that come, but also the amount of creativity the host and everyone there brings with them as well! So get out the makeup, start slicing up those cardboard boxes (yeah, I’m talking to you Bryan), slip on that latex mask, grab a sixer or four and have some fun this Halloween people!
* Just kidding. Nothing is better than porn.
** Troma and Tokyo Shock are exempt – their movies kick fucking ass.
