Directed by: John Moore
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Beau Bridges & Chris O’Donnell
Release Date: October 17, 2008

Face it, Wahlberg is always at his best when he’s playing the badass. Four Brothers, The Departed, We Own the Night, Shooter, The Italian Job, Fear… the list goes on. I’m extremely glad to see his only performance in 2008 won’t be his horrendous bout as nice-guy science teach, Elliot Moore, in The Happening. Max Payne looks to be just the thing to restore my faith in Marky Mark’s ability to kick some ass and act at a level higher than a junior high drama student.

Based on the video game series, Max Payne will follow DEA Agent, Max Payne (played by Mark Wahlberg of course) as he tries to solve a series of murders in New York City while unraveling the conspiracy behind the death of his family. Helping him along the way is assassin Mona Sax (Mila Kunis) who’s on a mission to avenge her sister’s death… all while being hunted by the police, the mob, and a ruthless corporation (thanks IMDB!). Expect a gratuitous multitude of blazing guns, slow motion explosions, trippy drug-induced hallucinations, and a dash of mystery and suspense to round out that “plot” thing people are always talking about. Hell, it sounds like a good time to me.

Personally, I wouldn’t be someone who would stand in huge line for anything aside from a rollercoaster. But I’m also not the kind of dick who would openly mock people that do decide to wait in line for a product directly to their faces… while on the job… on live TV. Reporter Eric Spillman from Los Angeles’ KTLA proved that he, on the other hand, is exactly that kind of dick by asking iPhone fanatics such news-worthy questions as “have you ever seen a naked woman before?” Oh, how original Mr. Newsman. That question hits so close to home… none of us have ever been able to so much as get to first base, what with our extreme awkwardness, giant glasses and binary-talk and all. We’re geeks! We just stay at home all day and eat Cheetos, drink Mountain Dew and play our internet games on our nerdy computersss (okay, maybe some of us do). Either way, I hate to tell you Eric, but geeks are the new cool. We control everything. Don’t piss us off or we’ll blue screen your laptop and tell you to blow us when you call for tech support. Then we’ll see who’s mocking who, ass.

As some people may know, back in the wee years of 2000 to 2004, I was the website designer and webmaster for the Elektra-signed hard rock band Systematic. Working with them was wonderful, and I think it really helped propel me to where I am now in my career (story forthcoming). Well, last night on my drive home from the movies (of course), a few tunes came on my iPod, and I felt an overwhelming urge to share them with everyone. They’re a few lesser known tracks the band released as online exclusives on their official website.

Tim Narducci, Adam Ruppel and the boys recorded Blue Oyster Cult‘s classic “Career of Evil” and posted it on the site to introduce drummer-extraordinarre Paul Bostaph to the Systematic crew, as well as to serve as a teaser to their sophomore (and ultimately final) album “Pleasure to Burn”. Personally, I absolutely love this cover. It just plain rocks my socks off. Check it out:

Danish metallers Pyramaze are currently one of my favorite bands. Their style of aggresive, often progressive power metal makes for quite a few interesting and epic tunes that never cease to get my head banging and the devil horns waving. The songs “Mighty Abyss” and “What Lies Beyond” are a couple of my all time favorite tunes and really show Pyramaze’s talent at constructing well-crafted and catchy material. With their newest release, Immortal, they tapped ex-Iced Earth frontman Matt Barlow to fill the band’s vacant vocalist slot. Barlow had long been working as police officer in Delaware after retiring from the music industry in 2003, and I couldn’t have been happier to hear he had seemingly returned to his true calling after 5 years of silence. Since my ears were first blessed with Barlow’s diverse, powerful voice, I’ve been a huge fan and I was happy to see I’d be able to rock out to some new tunes fronted by the man himself.

However, once Barlow returned to Iced Earth (a decision I back fully, as I absolutely love that band), it seemed Pyramaze would need to find yet another voice to express the energy and soul behind their music. Luckily for me and every other metal fan out there, it seems they’ve done just that. Earlier this week, Pyramaze mainman, Michael Kammeyer, announced that after many long months of auditions for a new frontman, they’ve chosen ex-Tad Morose frontman, Urban Breed to join the band’s ranks. Michael’s comments from pyramaze.com below:

While we all wait in anticipation for the next season of The Office to hit the cable tubes this Fall, NCB has been kind enough to give us Internet-capable fans some tasty little glimpses into Dunder Mifflin’s off-season. The first of a number of webisodes has been posted on nbc.com, and it follows the exploits of our favorite office faux-tard Kevin. Watch below as he delves into the fraudtacular world of misused business loans!

For a glimpse into the upcoming Office webisodes, check out nbc.com (as long as you don’t mind being ocularly-raped by internet commericals).

I’m a huge theater buff. Even with a few shitty experiences here and there throughout the years, I still love going to the movie theater to enjoy a good flick with a crowd of interesting and often strange individuals (oh, and some friends too I suppose). A good comedy just seems so much funnier when you can laugh at it with a darkened room full of complete strangers, and the excitement and suspense of a good adventure flick simply feels heightened when you can oogle everything on a seventy-foot screen. So, let’s just say I spend many of my Friday nights enjoying the smell of popcorn and the bright glow of a movie screen.

This leads me to the main point of my little story here. I go to a ton of movies… and out of a somewhat compulsive habit, I’ve never purposefully thrown away a movie ticket stub. I save them… all of them. And I’ve been doing this for nearly 11 years. Now, some may say that this is an insane thing to do. “Why would you save those?” these visionless people would say. “What will you do with them? What’s the point?” Well, this weekend I realized exactly what the point of my strange addiction is.

I’m currently working to compile a list containing the name, date, time and price of every movie ticket in my collection? Why, you ask? To find out exactly how much of my hard-earned money I’ve spent on the theater in the last decade, of course! Not to mention plot the increase of ticket prices over the last 11 years or so using real world data and oh so much more!

So check back soon for an interesting look into where much of my monthly paycheck goes! And if I’m not the only one with this ticket-packrat mentality, feel free to let me know in the comments.

EDIT (07-10-08): I’ve decided to add runtimes for each movie as well (as listed by IMDB) to see how much time I’ve spent in a theater absorbing the warm, soothing glow of a movie screen.

UPDATE (07-12-08): My list has been completed and I’ll be posting the results shortly!

UPDATE (07-24-08): Holy shit, the results have been posted! Check ‘em out here.